Seeing Kylee!

I got to see Kylee a couple weeks ago and it was so wonderful! She has grown so much and is now belly laughing and cooing a lot. She just started eating rice cereal and is also learning how to hold her own bottle. I cannot belive how quickly she is becoming a little lady!
I got to go Christmas shopping at the mall with Kylee and her and her adoptive parents. It was so much fun! We took her to the baby stores and put little jackets and shoes on her and we all had a great time (She seemed to like it too 'cause she smiled and talked a lot :D).
Later that night her adoptive Mom brought her to my adoption support group and everyone got to see her. It was so wonderful. I don't think she will ever know how much that meant to me. It's hard not being able to show her off to people like a normal mom would do. But for just one night I was able to feel that honor in regards to this beautiful little girl. I know she is no longer mine, I am just grateful to her Mom for the ways she has blessed my life and kept Kylee a part of it. I could not have asked for a better adoptive Mother.
I still have days that are really hard, but I am so happy that Kylee is doing so well! She is becoming such a beautiful girl (and I have to say, she is totally the most stylish baby in town. :D). This experience has taught me so much and I will be eternally grateful! Thank you to all those who have been involved! I will update again soon! :)

Catching Up

Time to catch up... I have not seen Kylee in the last month or so, but she is doing well. She is getting bigger everyday and I can't believe how grown up she looks! I found out that she got to stay up in Snowflake for about a week and she even got snowed in for about a day! I would love to see her all bundled up and playing in the snow. I hope sometime I can build a snowman with her when she is a little older. I am anticipating seeing her sometime in the next week or so and I am really excited. In the mean time, I am babysitting today. It is great to have a baby to play with, but I will always miss my little Princess. But things are as they should be and I am doing well. I just got signed up for school and I cannot wait to jump back into learning! I will write again as soon as I see Kylee! :D

Getting big!

I just got off of Kylee's blog and cannot believe how big she is getting! She is so grown up! It's hard to believe that she is already three months old. This was her first Halloween and I hear she had a lot of fun. I wanted so bad to see her and dress her up, but she made a super cute Kitty. As more time passes I thought I would start to feel better, but to be honest I almost miss her more. I see the ways she is growing and changing and I want so badly to be a part of that. Thankfully, I still am to an extent. I have felt so much love and appreciation from her adoptive family that I have ZERO complaints. I am just sad because I miss her so much. She is becoming everything I hoped she would and more. And I still have NO regrets, just moments where I wish I could hold her in my arms again and call her my little girl. But she'll always be my little princess either way, even if she is someone else's little girl. On a brighter note, I get to see her soon. I am not sure what day, but I think it will be this week. I can't wait to pick her up and give her a big kiss. I bet she will look so much bigger than the last time I saw her. Her face is already changing and becoming less baby like and more grown up. What an exciting time!

Laughing, sleeping and ear piercing!!!

So much has happened in the last couple weeks! Kylee is growing and changing so quickly! I had the opportunity to see her on Friday and she is so big! It was incredible seeing her and all the ways she has progressed. The best part of the whole visit was the beginning. Her adoptive mom brought her in, walked around and set her down in front of me. As soon as she looked up at me she would not stop smiling. It made my week! Also, before we left I took her for a walk. She is so attentive now! She listens to everything. It is so cute.
Since Friday, I have been told that she laughed for the first time AND slept through the night twice! She giggled once in her dreams while she was still with me, but I cannot imagine what it would be like to hear her precious little laugh!
Lastly, I found out that yesterday she got her ears pierced! I saw a picture and she is so adorable. I was nervous when I found out, but I hear that she did really good. She is so brave.
I am so excited that she is doing so well. She is so smart! I am blessed to still be involved in her life.
There are days that are so hard, but as I see her do so well and progress so much I feel peace and gratitude that I have never experienced. It makes my day when I get to see pictures of Kylee and when I hear about the amazing new things she is doing. Adoption is truly a process, but it is an incredible one.

Missing you...

Today has been an average day, but I do find myself really missing Kylee. I cannot wait until I have the oppertunity to see her next (I think it is going to be this week)! Life is so much different without a little baby in my house. I miss her cries and sounds. All the things that go along with motherhood. I saw a little girl riding on the back of her Dad's bike today and I imagined what it would be like if I could do that. I hope I will be able to someday. Either way, Kylee is amazing and I am blessed to be able to have her in my life. :)

Beautiful feet

This is a picture of Kylee's adorable little foot. She is so perfect and beautiful. I got to see her on Wednesday and it was amazing. At one point she stared me directly in the eyes. I felt such a close and powerful connection with her. I know that she knows who I am and that I love her. I am so grateful that she is in such a wonderful place. Although, I do have to say, I miss those little feet (and everything else). But I am so excited to see how well she is settling into her new life. It's as if she was there all along. I know I made the right decision and that gives me a peace that I never thought I could have. It is still hard though. I have been attempting to stay busy so I would not dwell on things. It has helped a little. I am looking for a job and school. And I am still on the hunt. So, if anyone hears anything about a good job, let me know!!!

Today is the day!

That is my new motto for life! Today is the day! I am beginning a new adventure and learning a great deal along the way. In July I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Kylee. She is the most wonderful thing that has EVER happened to me. She was 7 pounds 5.1 ounces and 19" long. She is just perfect. And because she is so wonderful, she deserves the best life a little girl can have. That is why my husband Ryan and I placed her for adoption. She is with a fabulous family that adores her. Her new Mom is amazing and I feel like she is the only person that could have ever taken my place. She is so good with Kylee and so kind to me. I hope we can continue to develop a strong friendship as time goes on. Her Dad is also incredible. He is so gentle and I can tell Kylee is totally going to be a Daddy's girl! Also, her new extended family is great! I had the chance to meet her new Grandmas and one Grandpa and they are beautiful people. I felt so welcome and warm being invited into their homes. My mom, the Adoptive mom, her mom, her husband's mom, Kylee and I all went out for ice cream and had a chance to talk. There is not a family that could have been more supportive and wonderful. We had such a good time. I know this is the right thing for my baby girl. On Wedneday we signed the adoption papers. It was extreamly difficult, but I feel so much peace about it. I have the chance to see Kylee this week and I am SO excited!!! I can't imagine how much she has grown. I will get tons of pictures. This experiance has expanded my faith in our loving Heavenly Father and the Lord, Jesus Christ, more than any I have experianced thus far. I am so grateful for the blessing this has been in my life. I feel as though Kylee has truly led me in the right direction and I will be eternally grateful. She is my BEST blessing. And now she has the BEST life possible. Thank you to everyone involved!